Tuesday, January 11, 2011

ANGER- Let’s Deal With It!

One of the quotes by Buddha says, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

But despite knowing this, almost all of us get in touch with this ‘hot coal’ once in a while! Anger is said to be a potent and natural emotion. We can say that it is an emotion that is expressed when we hear or see something that we do not expect. Such situations may lead to frustrations too but ultimately they culminate into anger. Getting angry is not bad but letting anger take control of our psyche and lead on the path of destruction is bad. One who can control anger and channel it positively for further work is the one who has conquered anger.

Everyone has certain expectations from a person, situation or work. When these expectations are not met with, he or she experiences one of the most dangerous emotions in the world, ANGER!

As we said earlier, the response to anger differs from person to person. There are people who get vehement in rage and will not deter from even attacking the person they are angry with. There are people who throw things in anger and vexation and also there are people who brood in solitude with this anger.

As with all other emotions, one can categorize angry people into two main categories- 1) Optimist and 2) Pessimist. This might look too common classification but these two categories define most angers. An optimist always views his emotions positively, even if it is anger and derives some positive conclusion out of the situation, however grave it may seem. A pessimist will nod in negation and will frustrate either himself or others around him. Nagging kind of behavior after the bout of anger is also quite common and hatred crops up out of this.

Thus, we can say that the outcome of anger differs from person to person depending upon how he or she perceives it.

How to Control Anger? (Some time-tested tips from experts to manage anger)-

Whenever you feel angry, before resorting to any act, think about—

1)     The results- this kind of thinking can be cultivated cautiously. Think what this act of yours will result in. It may have some physical as well as legal complications. More than that please think about its effect on your health. This is hard to think about when you are angry. Agreed! But understand a point that says- “Your stomach contracts to half of its size when you are angry”. No need to say it hampers your digestion and even poses a grave risk to gastric mucosa over a period of time. Hypertensive patients carry the risk of impending heart problems if they fail to control anger and channel it positively. Think about the possibly estranged relationships that you savor so much.
2)     Others’ Approach- When we get angry, in most of the cases, we think only about ourselves. Thinking about others in similar consequences many times helps us gain control over the anger as well as the situation we are facing.
3)     Think about the causes- think what frustrated you so much that you got angry. Many times the causes are trivial and even if they seem apparently severe at that particular time, they don’t last long. Think whether compromising on to your health due to this trivial thing worth? It is true that such thinking does not emerge quickly unless you are a real positive soul. But with practice, you can certainly begin your positive journey only to relish the best of its fruits on all fronts.

What can be done when you feel the anger racing up your head?

(1)    Walk away- The age-old technique our elders told us is to walk away from the scene. This time-tested technique works still in most cases (would like to say ALL). This holds true in cases of acute anger that results due to some situation that arrived without your expectation. Walk away or engage in some act other than discussing the situation or stop yourself from commenting at the very moment. This tip needs to be cultivated but ask those who have done this and they will tell how marvelous the results are! Most people say that once they give themselves little time before they speak up, they usually are much cooled down.
(2)    Put you in others’ shoe- Many times our rage is the result of misunderstanding about the other party. Even if it is not misunderstanding, usually others do have a point when they say something. Understanding this aspect many times solves lots of issues that have potential ability to turn into a battleground. Even if others seem wrong, you can convince them in more constructive ways after the moment passes by. This point is especially important for parents of teenage children. You definitely know why!
(3)    Think positive- This point is already mentioned earlier but it so important that it deserves second thought. It is a fact that ‘anger’ is the greatest enemy of negative thinkers. It never allows them to move ahead and they keep embracing the same old story that obstructed their way. On the contrary, the positive thinkers are used to look for an opportunity even in the worst of adversities. Obviously they find their way through the anger and pave their way to more fruitful conversation and work in future. Learning from the situations that provoke anger is one of the best ways to conquer the anger.

Some Strategies or Treatments that Will Help You Conquer Anger-

A)     Relaxation techniques- Many things have been said about relaxation techniques in this blog earlier. And same stands true for anger management. People that were earlier laughing about the efficacy of yoga and Pranayam in dealing with such issues today are the greatest followers of the same. The simple steps in yoga and Pranayam literally burns the negative energy in you and instills huge amount of positive energy. It involves the meditation technique too necessary to know “Self” and conquer negativism.
B)     Learn the art of communication- You may take a professional course on communication or learn this art from any person whom you admire for his qualities of good communication. After all you are your best teacher. Learn the difference between healthy communication and conflict.
C)     Develop a problem solving attitude- Anger is not bad in all circumstances. Especially when you are angry about some social disharmony, probably your anger will pave way for something fruitful for the society. However, try to channel this anger positively, trying to analyze the root cause of the issue, and planning how you can fix the situation.
D)     Time management- Most of the times, mismanagement of time is the chief cause behind anger burst outs. Schedule your priorities and discipline yourself a bit to overcome such situations. With practice it is possible and the reward is matchless.
E)     Cognitive therapy- Some specialists in cognitive therapy believe that they can channel your thoughts in better direction. The same anger vanishes in thin air after consistent cognitive therapy.
F)     Homeopathy- Yes, homeopathy deals with anger probably the most effectively. There are homeopathic medicines like Colocynth, Chamomilla, Cina, Staphysagria, Acid fluoricum, Belladona, Stramonium, etc that deal with different types of anger at different times. Most importantly they also help nullify the physical imprints of anger. One may be surprised to know, but in homeopathy some traces of childhood anger carried into adulthood are very important tools for matching the perfect remedy while solving a case. Such innate angers that are not expressed are more dangerous than those expressed. Homeopathy deals with all of them effectively and helps one conquer anger spells by positively modifying the inner-most traits of an individual.

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