Wednesday, February 19, 2014
How Your Reaction to a Situation Can Change Your Life for Better?
More than 90% of our life revolves around our reactions to the various situations that we encounter in our day to day life. Recently I met a young lady in my clinic. She was dressed well, spoke fluently and seemed comfortable. Her problem that she narrated to me of her anxious spells seemed literally untrue looking at her poise. But there entered her husband after some time and I could see the change in her so suddenly. She started talking slow with bit of stammering and her restlessness was there to see. I requested her husband to stay out till I finish taking the case. Now I started quizzing her about that sudden change that she knew I observed! Her answer was quite straight. She has a daunting husband and he likes to be the in-charge of the situation every time and that makes her angry on him. Other than that, he is a sweet person, takes care of her and they have a good married life!
The resentment that she developed towards him was since their marriage and she started keeping her emotions to herself, leading to today’s scenario of anxiety and panic spells. Considering many other aspects of her case history, I prescribed her Staphysagria and the things got smoothed as far as emotional fears were concerned. In her counseling sessions, the main aspect that emerged was as regards her reactions to the situations.
Most of us face this turbulence in our mind when it comes to reacting to something. Most of our reactions are impulsive than thoughtful. If we think before we react, more than half of our problems will get over. If you say, that’s the problem of whole humanity and nothing can be done to avoid that, you are wrong. It is a study of behavior and practice of “acceptable reaction”. Most important thing this ‘change in our reaction’ requires is constant awareness of our own mind and psyche. Every small action should be looked upon with great caution initially, so that we don’t hurt ourselves with the reaction we give. Confrontation isn’t bad always. Rather it is a great ally when used thoughtfully at the right time. I asked this young girl to confront her fears to her husband, which strangely enough she had never done. There are two aspects of this. Confronting right away is almost always considered a bad reaction. On the contrary, 'never confronting' is as detrimental as you can see in this case. Achieving the balance while doing so is what we need to learn.
To understand “When silence can be golden” and “When words can help us” is a great art. I have seen so many relationship problems leading to some or the other health problems, owing to failure in this understanding. Making our reactive language proactive makes a huge difference in our life as well as in the life of people around us. When we start doing that, we are not making any favor on the people around us but on ourselves!
The positive impacts of proactive language are many—
1) There is lesser crowding of unwanted thoughts in our head
2) There remains no chance of brooding over what we said in a conversation
3) Whatever happens to the world around, we can maintain our calmness and help those in real need.
4) We make more friends and fewer enemies; and those enemies do not affect us, as the enmity is not created by us.
5) It has huge impact on the marital relation between the spouses; love certainly breezes in the air!
6) As we tend to brood less and less, our mental and emotional health gets a huge boost, which eventually makes us physically stronger!
That young girl, of course, with the help of constitutional homeopathic therapy and her own grit to follow proactive way of living, is now living a happy life!