Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Acne Precautions—

(For any health query, please write to- contact@drshreya.com)

Some Precautions to be followed by teens with acne!

Teens are the ones who strive to look good and that’s the age when acne eruptions trouble them. A large number of youth dread acne as the largest demon in their life, destructing their social life! But as we have discussed previously in one of our articles, Homeopathy offers the best and safe solution to the menace called pimples! (Please refer to the article-- http://drshreya.blogspot.in/2011/01/top-10-homeopathic-remedies-for-acne.html)

However, here are some of the basic guidelines that one may find very useful to prevent acne burst out. These are kind of practical tips for all teens and some grownups with acne problem—

1) Increase your fluid intake- When we reviewed water intake of large number of acne patients, it is found that most of them have very low fluid intake. Among all fluids, plain water has the greatest ability to prevent acne and provide internal moisturizing quality to your skin. So, for supple skin, take your water bottle with you, wherever you go!

2) Avoid pickles or other spicy stuff often with too much salt and sourness together- This is not a proven thing but have seen a large number of acne patients indulging in sour and salt together, which aggravate their acne. Avoid it for a month and you will see the effect yourself. Also excess sour food is seen to increase dandruff, which eventually increases pimply eruptions on your forehead.

3) Sweating through exercise is great for your skin- If your facial skin sweats once a day, it expels harmful toxins and infective agents, thus making your skin soft and supple naturally.

4) Sun exposure is good for acne- If you sit in sunlight for a few minutes a day, it will not only provide you good amount of vitamin D but also will enhance your chances of having an acne-free skin.

5) Do not touch your acne- This is very important tip to avoid scarring and discoloration after pimples. Poking your nail is the worst thing!

6) Don’t be harsh on your skin- Many youngsters fall prey to various advertisements and use all products one by one, to see what works for them. In return what they get it further dried up and parched skin, which is hard to heal. If you want to apply something, consult your doctor; else go for natural herbal products. However, seek expert’s opinion to know whether the product is truly natural.

7) Avoid stress- Stressing over acne issue further deteriorates it. Bach flower therapists use remedies like crab-apple which work marvelously to handle stress factor over such skin problems. Go stress-less, keep smiling and your skin will feel rejuvenated! A smiling face is much more desirable (even if with acne) than a stressed flawless face!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Some Precious yet Random Health Tips for You!

(For any health query, please write to contact@drshreya.com)

The below given health tips are tested tips for people that are willing to follow a comparatively healthy lifestyle in today's rushed world scenario.

1. Do not walk / exercise after meals ever. It is the worst culprit that can result in disturbed stomach and gaseous distension. Brisk walks are always good on light stomach!

2. Smaller and mild to moderate stretches during work hours work more efficiently than irregular gymming. Get out of your chair frequently and have a brisk stroll around!

3. Eat a healthy breakfast, which sets you energetic for your work ahead through the day. Never ever skip your breakfast if you want your liver to perform optimally.

4. Never sit in front of computer screens for long without moving your spine. Get up, bend your back, stretch back- sideways, move your knees up and down and you are ready for your further computer work!

5. Chew your food properly. Many people fail to comprehend the reason behind improper digestion when they hastily gulp down the meal.

6. Blink you eyes frequently to avoid tiring of eyes and undue pressure in them.

7. Maintain strict body hygiene. It not only keeps you healthy but makes you feel better about yourself, which boosts your self confidence tremendously.

8. Make sure you devote at least 1/2 an hour of the day completely to yourself. You may do whatever you want during that time and enjoy being in the company of yourself!

9. Green vegetables do you loads of good. Eat them raw or mildly cooked; your intestines will thank you!

10. Remember that health drinks and other beverages can never take place of water. Keep yourself well-hydrated with optimal water intake.

11. There is nothing like 'reduced smoking now'! Quitting completely is the only option if you want to look, feel and be young and healthy!

12. Do not sleep at least for 1 and 1/2 hours after meals. Longer the better!

13. Be in the vicinity of positive-minded people. They make you feel lot healthier, as you shed the negativism about life!

14. Take minimum medicine, only when required. Never self-drug yourself unless you know ins and outs of the therapy you are treating yourself with.

15. Do not think about sleep. It will follow naturally! 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Want to Get Rid of Laziness? Try These Ten Tested-Tips!

Nobody in this world, including this bear in the picture can boast about not feeling lazy anytime in life; unless he is lying! :-)

Thus we can say that this is the universal feeling; however, the one that doesn’t have any positive consequences! Laziness leads to procrastination, lack of productivity, and loss of goal in life. Laziness is the prime culprit that leads to depressive spells in most people, as they cannot complete their tasks in hand due to this menace, which in turn makes them depressed in themselves.

In short, it would be the wisest idea to search for the ways to beat this odd called laziness and lead a fruitful life full of surprises and happiness!

Here are some of the natural ways to drive away laziness—

1. Best body hygiene- More you feel good and fresh about your body, more you are unlikely to wind up your work at hand! Maintain hygiene at home and at your workplace, which will make you feel fresher throughout the day. Bathing two times a day can add to this feel-good factor!

2. Regularity of sleep cycle- Retiring to bed at a fixed time every day and avoiding night-watching goes a long way in securing the fresh feeling in the morning, which embarks you on work efficiently.

3. Physical fitness- It is a well know fact that release of endorphins and antioxidants post-exercise session leaves little room for laziness. Morning exercise rituals in this regard pay more dividends!

4. Avoid junk food- More than the importance of healthy food, avoiding junk food is more important in shedding the lazy spells throughout the day.

5. Positive self-talk- If we begin our morning with a small positive self-talk wherein we tell ourselves about the blessings in our life, we are ought to feel its benefit through the day in the form of productive work-scenario.

6. Change your surroundings little too often- This does not mean that you need to go and live in a new place every now and then! It means cater to your necessity of change by renovating your living surroundings. The change may be as little as changing the bed covers, applying some new photographs on the walls of your bedroom, etc. Such changes breathe a fresh air into your routine life!

7. Avoid getting in touch with negative minded people- Well, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help them out. It just means that do not allow their negativity to ruin your positive frame of mind. If you cannot do this, better to get in touch with them as less as possible.

8. Live an emotionally simple life- This is one important pointer that many miss in today’s fast-paced life. Giving importance to smaller pleasures of life means that you are getting connected to your roots. Also complicated relations ruin the show. Make them as simple as possible, increase communication and lead by example at home!

9. Weekend priority listing- On the weekend, make a list of important tasks to be completed next week. This places you in a better position to avoid delays and work-related stress. Obviously it keeps laziness away.

10. Sips of water throughout the day- Water is a great metabolism booster. Sip on to plain water frequently to remain stress-free and shed the feeling of laziness!

Top Tips to Avoid Memory Loss in Old Age!

Old age comes with its due problems. Many old people today live healthily, thanks for the growing awareness about various age related illnesses and their treatments. The advanced medical and surgical treatments have given hope to millions of aged people worldwide, which make them independent and happy. However, one of the major problems that prevent the joyful demeanor during the old age is forgetfulness or memory loss. Many aged people suffer from it to mild to moderate degree. Age related dementia is quite common and is found throughout the world.

If one follows the tips given below, age related memory problems can be averted to a great extent. Even those suffering from memory problems can benefit from these tips-

1. Exercise- More you remain active during your post-retirement period, sharper your memory will be. Especially the aerobic activity boosts blood circulation to brain, helps in development of neurons and connects them better, thus aiding in preventing memory loss. Walking for 45 minutes 3 times a week is said to boost the aerobic activity effectively.

2. Balanced diet- It has been seen that more regular the meal times are; better is the memory. As one crosses 50, he or she should take special precaution to follow a good meal pattern, wherein one doesn’t remain empty stomach for more than 3 to 4 hours. Smaller meals at regular intervals are known to boost memory power.

3. Learn new things frequently- It is a known fact that if you keep yourself busy in learning some new tings every now and then, your memory doesn’t leave you perplexed. The attention span increases if you learn something new like some dancing steps or the computer games. Learning some mathematic games like Sudoku help a lot in building better body-mind coordination and boosts memory.

4. Omega-3-fatty acids- It is a known fact that adding omega 3 fatty acids to your daily diet helps a lot with your memory problems. The natural sources of omega 3 fatty acids are flaxseeds, nuts, seafood, fish, etc.

5. Sleep enough- It is a myth that old age is related almost always to insomnia. With good precautions in diet and exercise, you can have good amount of sleep during old age too. Rather people who sleep well and get up refreshed are at lesser risk of memory loss. Therefore, one should take the necessary measures to treat insomnia if they suffer from, in order to have good memory for years to come.

6. Limit the alcohol intake- alcohol actually reduces the brain volume. Obviously this leads to concentration difficulties and memory loss. Therefore limiting the alcohol intake can boost the brain power and prevent it from shrinking.

7. Do some charity work- It is said that more you work selflessly for others in your old age, better you feel and remain stress free. This is one of the sure ways to boost your overall health and stay memory-active for years to come.

8. Reduce the exposure to neurotoxins- Opt for organic food, avoid harmful ingredients like food additives, chemicals, etc to have good brain functionality for years. It is a researched fact that more you expose yourself to harmful chemicals, smaller your brain becomes. Fresh air is one of the great ways to have optimal brain fitness. Thus even if you cannot avoid air pollution completely, you can certainly opt for frequent visits to clean and stress free environment that can help you stay fitter for longer!

Time-Tested Tips for Age-Related Insomnia!

The recent studies state that even as one ages, the sleep pattern should remain almost the same. It is a myth that advancing age reduces sleep. Therefore, if you are approaching or are beyond 50, think whether you are getting enough sleep. It is seen that older adults and aged people that get good quality of sleep every night are more capable of handling themselves well, in face of various health problems. Rather we can say that sleep is a prime factor in deciding whether one is healthy or not. However, there is no need to panic if you suffer from insomnia. There are many time tested natural tips that can help you doze better. Let’s see –

1. Check the quality of your bed- Many times, this basic thing is given a miss and that leads to uncomfortable sleep. Go for ‘not very soft- not very hard’ types of beds and pillows for good sleep.

2. Use bedroom for sleep only- According to the National Sleep Foundation, the bedroom that is dark, quiet and cool is ideal for good sleep and we must not use this room for any other purpose besides sleep. No television, no eating, and no arguments! This helps people, especially older people to have restful night’s sleep.

3. Avoid caffeine and alcohol prior to bed- As we grow old, caffeine consumption has to be kept minimum. Avoiding it post-noon can help insomniacs rest better at night. Primarily one might feel that alcohol consumption helps one doze. But the rebound effect of alcohol at night results in waking up post midnight with an utter restless feeling. Controlling these two elements many times helps one sleep without any help from sleeping pills.

4. Keep stress at bay- Many will say that this is easier said than done. But keeping in mind the Zen attitude that one should cultivate as one ages, stress is the prime culprit resulting in insomnia. Relaxation techniques like yoga can help to a great extent in such cases of stress-induced insomnia. It is also seen that many people worry about “sleep” so much that this worry itself is the cause behind insomnia. Therefore, experts suggest that one should “fall” to sleep and not “try” to sleep. This approach almost halves the problem!

5. Cultivate some habit that will help you sleep- It might be as simple as having a hot water bath prior to bed or reading a book. It can help you relax to the core and then sleep wouldn’t be far from you.

6. A glass of milk- Ancient natural healers insist that before going to bed, one must have a glass of warm milk to doze off better. The sleep-inducing tryptophan in milk almost always helps, while giving you better absorption of calcium and milk-proteins, while you sleep.

7. Sun-exposure- This might sound weird but it is a fact that people who expose regularly themselves to sun during the day (especially morning) sleep better than those who stay indoors. The sunlight is responsible for controlling certain chemicals in the brain that regulate the body temperature. Normal body temperatures are imperative for healthy sleep pattern.

Aging doesn’t mean Crippling Old-Age Anymore!

(For health queries, please write to contact@drshreya.com) 

Health of the senior citizens was a global issue a few decades back. However, with the changing times, positive health awareness, and availability of health resources, today’s seniors enjoy the healthy longevity. Also today’s seniors are not dependent upon anyone for their finances. With proper planning, they already have enough for the twilight years. No wonder they live far fulfilling life in their so-called old age.

Happy aged couple is a best thing to observe. They have put their best efforts in their adulthood and today they are enjoying the blissful life their hard work imparted them. However, many times marriages, despite having been very much cordial between the couples become the cause of worry. This happens when one of the partners die, leaving the other one all alone! The person craves for company always whatever his age is. As the old age approaches, this craving for company increases manifold. The person cannot sit brooding over the death of the partner all the while. He has to move ahead in life, because he or she doesn’t know how much life is still there to live. Why not make the life beautiful again?

These seniors have time, resources, and institutes that can help them date again! Yes, online dating is not just for teenagers and young adults. It is very much necessary for seniors and they can seek help at various forums too. What these people want is a lasting friendship that can give them support, love, and companionship. Above-50 match is not a luxury. It is very much a necessity of elder community all over the world. The couples formed thus can vow for this. They can tell you how fulfilling their life has become after they found this new-found relationship in their life.

Well if you think this adult dating and adult relationship are necessary just for companionship, you are wrong. Today’s research tells us that it is very imperative for the senior citizens to live in a company because that increases their health quotient and productivity too. Many senior citizens today are working and helping the nation’s economy. This help can be greatly enhanced if they have a fulfilling life at home. The physical intimacy is also a great booster for these people to stay active and healthy through their old age. The idea behind such relationships is to boost nation’s overall self-sufficiency too. The couple works for each other, stays by each other during illnesses, takes care of each other and rejoices in each other’s company.

When adults or seniors that are retired from their regular jobs, they many times become burden on the society, but no more. Now these people can make them self-reliant and relish in the glory of their past efforts. Dating services can help them find their soul-mate once again, if they have lost one. It is always a booster on health when you fall in love. The adrenalin surges and the body react positively to the cherished feeling of being loved. No doubt this proves fantastic for the seniors to add life to their remaining days.

After all, adding days to the life is not enough; we must try to add life to the days! 

Treat Enlarged Adenoids with Homeopathy!

(For more info, visit http://www.drshreya.com & for any health query, please write to- contact@drshreya.com

Not many know that adenoids are part of body’s natural immune system. ADENOIDS is not a disease. Many patients come to us saying their child has adenoids or so they are told by surgeon who wants to operate the child and remove his adenoids. Firstly let’s understand that adenoids are body’s natural weapons against infections and foreign invaders. They function n our body like a protecting mechanism and are one of the first lines of defense.

Adenoids are a mass of lymphatic tissue situated in the posterior nasal cavity where the nose bends into the throat.

They are made up of lymphoid tissue. Like other lymph glands, white blood cells circulate through these adenoids reacting to the foreign invaders of the body. All have adenoids at birth; slowly they start shrinking in size and by adulthood, in most people they disappear. Thus, we can very well sense that during the childhood, adenoids are an important tissue if we want our children not to suffer from frequent infections. Therefore, removing adenoids is never the primary option when there is some problem with them.

Apparently the only indication to remove adenoids is sleep apnoea, in which the airway is completely obstructed in a child due to excessively enlarged adenoids when the child gets breathless and blue in face at night, which makes him sleepless.

Clinical features-

In a child where adenoids have increased in size, he is said to have adenoid face. The features include an elongated face with short upper lip, prominent incisors, elevated nostrils and a high arched palate. The child continuously breathes through mouth. Some children with adenoid swelling may breathe through mouth only during night.

How Can Homeopathy Help?

As homeopathy strengthens the immunity of the child through its classical constitutional medicine, a child with adenoid swelling is no exception. However, taking a detailed history of the child, his family history, miasmatic study by considering his birth and conception history is imperative in selecting the right remedy. As with any acute exacerbation of chronic case, firstly it should be the duty of the homeopath to relieve the child of his acute problems due to enlarged adenoids. Only after the child is made capable of receiving a constitutional dose by settling his acute issues, one can go for the constitutional drug that will not only put an end to recurrent tonsillitis (if present) but even shrink his adenoid swelling. Most children regain back normal face structure and reduce mouth breathing after being put on the homeopathic therapy.

The most important remedies that need to be differentiated while treating swollen adenoids are Baryta carb, Agraphis nutans, Calcarea phos, Calcarea carb, Hydrastis, Bromium and Tuberculinum. Tuberculinum as an intercurrent nosode is quite frequently used in the cases of adenoid swellings. However, one must also consider Medorrhinum if the sycotic family history is predominant. For acute complaints arising due to adenoids, one can use remedies like Belladona, Hepar sulph, Merc sol, Wyethia, etc.

In short, in every case of adenoidal enlargement, one must first try maximally to fix the case with the homeopathic medicines. In more than 90% of cases, homeopathy helps. While reducing the child’s adenoid growth, homeopathy prepares the child well to face future health problems and prevents many future complications!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Migraine and its Homeopathic Management!

Homeopathic Treatment of Migraine --

Homeopathy, as we know is a holistic method of treating patients. Same approach is (or should be) maintained when it comes to treating migraine cases in any age group. One cannot take just the diagnosis of migraine into account while treating these types of episodic headaches homeopathically. Complete physical, mental, and emotional aspects of the patients should be given importance and remedy found after careful evaluation. Symptomatic approach is the best suited approach in any migraine case and rarely have I come across a migraine case that fails to respond to efficient homeopathic therapy. In adolescence age group, proper psychological counseling and stress management are important auxiliary regimens to be advised by homeopathic expert.

Here is the list of some of the important homeopathic remedies that can be tried in cases of migrainous or periodic headaches—

(1) Natrum mur-
-         One of the top remedies for headaches
-         Throbbing variety
-         Headache starts in the morning after getting up and remains till sunset
-         School-girl headaches those suffer from anemia
-         Pain as if numerous hammers are thrusting on the brain
-         Semi-lateral headaches, migraines, with nausea and vomiting
-         With heavy aching eyelids
-         In migraine, has an aura in numbness and tingling in tongue, lips, nose etc, before the attack sets
-         Headache associated with sinusitis, when attack sets in after catching cold
-         Ill-effects of grief, worry, fear etc
-         Worse, from noise of any kind, music, heat, mental exertion; better on empty stomach, open air, pressure, sleep

(2) Belladona-
-         acute headache that starts suddenly
-         sensitive head to least contact
-         fullness in forehead
-         associated with constant moaning
-         ill effects of catching cold or having a hair cut
-         pulsations felt in head
-         aggravated by lying down, noise, jar, afternoon
-         better by pressure and semi-erect posture

(3) Gelsemium-
-         headaches associated with vertigo
-         spreading from occiput or located at occiput
-         tension headaches
-         dull pain with marked heaviness
-         heavy drooping eyelids
-         band feeling around head
-         temporal headaches that occur after exposure to sun
-         soreness in neck with headache
-         may be delirious
-         blindness may precede headache
-         foggy weather aggravates and so does anticipation about anything
-         better by profuse urination, open air and lying with head high
(4) Glonoine-
-         worsened Belladona headache, throbbing variety more on left side
-         head feels large when it aches
-         peculiar sun-headaches with dizziness
-         headache brought on by menstrual suppression
-         congestive headaches with irregular circulations; pulsations felt in head, ears and all over the face
-         any type of occupational headache brought on by working near or with heat
-         can feel surging of blood to head
-         despite heaviness, cannot lay head on pillow
-         headache in a child that attended campfire the day before
-         associated with sparks before the eyes
-         < sun, jar, stooping, hair cut, peaches, lying down
-         > brandy, after sun sets

(5) Onosmodium-
-         migraine headaches
-         associated with loss of or deficient memory
-         marked state of confusion
-         headache starts in the morning on waking up
-         areas affected- occiput, temporal region, and mastoid
-         associated with heavy dull eyes with pain in eyeballs
-         worse using eyes, left side, movement
-         better by cold drinks and eating

(6) Chamomilla-
-         Sudden onset headaches with excessive irritability
-         Throbbing pain in half of the head
-         Patient bends head backwards in the hope to relieve
-         Associated with hot clammy sweat on forehead and whining restlessness
-         < heat, anger, vexation, windy weather
-         > wet weather

(7) Ignatia-
-         Headache as if a nail driven through the sides
-         Crampy pain over the root of nose
-         Headache from anger, acute grief, etc
-         Emotional causes always lead to headache first
-         Marked congestion
-         Hysterical headaches
-         Hollow-feeling of head that is aggravated by stooping
-         Sobbing lady with headache
-         < warmth, after meals, smoking, coffee, > change of position frequently

(8) Sanguinaria-
-         peculiar right sides sun headaches
-         marked periodicity
-         begins in occiput, settles over the eyes (More on right side)
-         menopausal headaches
-         pain in spots over head
-         associated with burning in eyes and red burning cheeks
-         feels as if a flash of lightening hitting at the back of head
-         > sleep, lying down, < sweets, touch

(9) Iris versicolor-
-         Typical acidic headaches
-         Headache associated with lots of acidity
-         Marked nausea, lack of appetite, and burning along the alimentary canal
-         During mental strain, performs well but once it’s over, develops sick headache
-         Frontal headaches with nausea
-         Migraine with aura settling in eyes with a blur before eyes, followed by dull constricted headache for long time
-         continued motion

(10)                    Nux vomica-
-         headache with vertigo, especially after night-watching
-         headache from over-exertion, tobacco, alcohol, coffee
-         marked sensitivity to touch
-         frontal headache > by pressing hard
-         headache associated with constipation, nausea
-         sun headaches
-         head feels sore and distended
-         associated with photophobia, neuralgic pain in eyes, and watering of eyes
-         worse in the mornings, after eating, cold; better after a good nap, evening, rest

Monday, October 14, 2013

Traditional Knowledge: Natural Growth!

Time to Opt for Our Traditional Healing Wisdom! 

“Traditions are meant to be followed” shouted our grandma who literally threw tantrum at our declaration that we will not massage our bundle of joy with the oil she prepared for him. There was war of words and she kept mum on the issue for a week till our little one did not seem to do well with our ultra-modern techniques to nurture him (I being a doctor myself)! “I told you!” was her unique reply on asking what to do to make him look healthier? He was looking duller and sadly thinner too!

Finally we budge to our grandma’s whims (or so we looked at them as) and started giving traditional benefits of oil massage. Grandma’s face lit with joy! One day, when I was sitting near her idly, she said in the matter of fact tone, “Look, don’t I care for your son? The natural growth of the children is facilitated by traditional way of living with all the natural products.” I seemed to agree as my sweetheart son smiled on her lap! I being a Natural Medicine-Ayurveda-Homeopathy enthusiast, could not keep my joy to myself when things turned better for the precious piece of my heart- my son!

Through my son’s stages of development, I have only opted for natural products, natural medicines and natural supplements to bring him up. I relied mostly on Ayurvedic and Homeopathic medicines even during his illnesses. I believe that the basic principle upon which the natural systems of medicines are based gives a chance for the body to fight against the disease and not conquer the disease itself.

According to me, the highlights of traditional medicines / products are –

·         Holistic view- If the child is having weak appetite, the synthetic medicine bombards him with liver tonics, which temporarily boost appetite. Natural products consider his entire constitution and gives personalized medicine or product that will cater his unique personality. This holistic yet individualistic view is the hallmark of natural way of healing.

·         Kitchen utility- Many of the traditional healing agents my grandma told me were found easily in my kitchen. Her favorite remedy of grounded Tulasi leaves and dried ginger has acted as a potential deterrent to my son’s so-called viral colds, coughs and even fevers! Fomentation with heated Ajowan (Carom seeds) on his spasmodic belly was almost immediately soothing! Therefore, I can swear and say that if one acquires good knowledge of natural healing agents, the busy life schedule would not be an obstacle to treat your children with utmost care and efficiency.

·         Preventing & treating the mental or emotional problems- Today one can see hoards of mental and emotional problems affecting the children. Ayurveda and/or Homeopathy, as one can rightly say, are not just the therapies to annihilate health problems. But they form a way of life for a healthy future of your child. If the childhood maladies are treated exclusively with natural products instead of artificial and synthetic analogues, one can assuredly have a far enriching future for their kids. I am saying this with lot of precision and experience; it is not a vague sentence. The natural products / drugs / therapies avoid acting unfavorably on a child’s tender psyche and emotions. They do not suppress his bodily / mental expressions but make them subtle enough not to affect adversely. This in turn strengthens their immunity, mental efficiency, emotional quotient, and overall social development as well.

Recently I came across a wise saying- “Don’t eat anything your great grandmother would not recognize as food!” How true is that! With the bombardment of many so-called health products, we are losing on to our traditional wisdom, shared through generations. It’s time we think about our future society, which can be either full of doubts, criminality, and wars, or full of gaiety, knowledge, and bliss! It’s time we choose and apply wisely! 

Monday, October 7, 2013

“We are with you child, come what may!”

लालयेत् पञ्च वर्षाणि दश वर्षाणि ताडयेत् |
प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रे मित्रवदाचरेत् ||

This is a Sanskrit shloka that guides us (parents) on how to behave with our children. It says, till our baby completes 5 years, we should pamper him / her, from five to ten years, we should teach him what’s right and what’s wrong by even scolding (actual meaning in the shloka is beating, as apt to the ancient ages perhaps) but when he or she attains sixteen years, we should treat them as friends!

Well, all the three stages are important in life, if the parent knows how to balance them wisely. Today we see parents that are either unduly friendly with their children since beginning or the ones that bombard their children with all the stress they have during the day! Worse still, parents try to compensate their absent hours by overtly granting all the kids’ whims and desires. The end result? Either the child is cranky whining all the while for some or the other possession or the child sets himself aloof and rarely interacts with the parents informally! I know that both these situations are extremes and many of us enjoy midway between the two but considering the large number of suicide attempts / depression / behavioral disorders in children, I suppose it is time for us to re-consider our priorities, our attitudes and our level of maturity (that we should attain on becoming parents)!

The news of post-exam result suicides rings alarm bells in our mind but rarely we seem to hold on to the positive thought of healthy behavior with our child. It slips our mind when the daily chores fight for their attendance on our body, mind and psyche. But it’s never late to correlate our own thoughts, to communicate with our spouse about our mutual discords, and to treat children without ever ‘taking for granted’ their existence in our life.

Recently I heard from very mature parents a trick that they have been following since the birth of their children. It’s “Avoiding any sort of fight, bad wording and most importantly back-talking about others” in front of their children. You might say, what’s new in this? But this couple followed this very principle without fail and the joy of this achievement was strikingly visible in the happy faces of their children! Such a beautiful family to be around!

As they are our close friends, I happened to ask them- “Besides the thing that you told me, is there anything else that keeps the child secure and happy?” The answer was quick from the mother. She said, “we keep telling our children that we are with them, come what may!” This may sound weird to the parents who always keep on counting the wrong-doings of their kids. But this sole thing can trigger a huge amount of confidence in the kids’ mind and assure them that they are NEVER alone! Through the failures, instead of blaming the child for bad show, if the parents start assuring them of better show next time and instilling a few words of wisdom playfully, thoughts of suicides and depression can never touch the young minds. Your compassion will guard you and your children through the life unabated.

The art of telling about the wrong doing falls at the next important juncture. “Let them do whatever they want. We are earning enough to fund for their future. We have not much enjoyed these things and so they should!” is one of the worst things to imbibe on the fertile minds of today’s generation. Here we have to be very careful not to hurt their creative instincts while delicately moving them away from unmoral things rampantly found around. Foremost thing to follow is not even utter a word about a wrong-doing in front of even your spouse. If one of the spouses has the art of explaining the truth to the child, he or she should talk to him or her about it in complete privacy. This will inculcate the feeling that you care! Sharp criticisms are a strict no. Listening to their point of view in the first place is imperative and many times this listening acts as a buffer to future discussion on the topic. Throughout the conversation, make your child realize that you are with him or her and have his / her best interest at heart.

It is not at all true that today’s generation has a total lack of respect for elders. It is untrue that they lack compassion. If they are very intelligent and have immediate understanding of the things around, they are sensitive to your thinking too. Just bullying them to understand your point of view is not done. If you seek respect from them, respect them as separate individuals, whatever age group they belong to! And as that wise mother said, “Be with them, come what may!”